


make me a masterpiece

by pinkyvestar



Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Exes with Benefits, F/F, Implied/Referenced Past Abuse, Possibly Unrequited Love, and also for murder, enjoy, i know there's one person out there who's looking at these tags and thinking, lil drabble just bc i wanted to, mostly it's the murder, rated m for oddly poetic blood, that's because it was, vaguely grishaverse-inspired au, wow it's like this was written for me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-28
Updated: 2019-09-28
Packaged: 2020-11-01 04:08:52
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,244
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20808578
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pinkyvestar/pseuds/pinkyvestar
Summary: Sooyoung first learns of the murder when she opens her eyes in a small hotel room, just a few miles from the border. It's snowing outside; Jungeun's side of the bed is empty. There's a note, and it reads, in that distinctive handwriting,he's dead. you're welcome. we won't meet again.It's signed with a faint print of blood-red lipstick.Sooyoung sighs and stands up, pulls on her robe. It's going to be a long day.





	make me a masterpiece

Sooyoung first learns of the murder when she opens her eyes in a small hotel room, just a few miles from the border. It's snowing outside; Jungeun's side of the bed is empty. There's a note, and it reads, in that distinctive handwriting, _he's dead. you're welcome. we won't meet again _

It's signed with a faint print of blood-red lipstick.

Sooyoung sighs and stands up, pulls on her robe. It's going to be a long day.

\- 

Jungeun was originally supposed to be the Healer of the two of them. When they'd met, she was the one who was loved and Sooyoung, the feared; she healed hearts while Sooyoung broke them. But they made a perfect pair, maybe because their labels were so different. Maybe because they, themselves, were so similar. 

Sooyoung remembers that once, before they were officially dating, before they were anything other than acquaintances on the same path, Jungeun had turned to her at night. They were sitting around the fire on their way to the capital, Sooyoung bundled in her sleeping bag and Jungeun roasting something or other.

_Teach me how to hurt,_ Jungeun had asked her. _I'm tired of being seen as helpless._

Sooyoung didn't think it would lead to anything. Thought it was a harmless request.

-

The first town she stops in has an aura of menace, so Sooyoung hides away any identifying clothing, items, whatever. She trades her horse for a walking stick, another coat, and a map.

(The shopkeeper asks if she wants some supplies for the road. Sooyoung tells her not to worry. She knows how to survive.

Perhaps she knows too well.)

-

Their first kiss was in the snow. 

They were taking a break from the hard work of travel, from the stress of having to slip through hostile villages, from everything that burdened them. Sooyoung started the fight- Jungeun bent over to pick up her canteen when Sooyoung took the opportunity to ball up a snowball and throw it at her back. Jungeun turns around, and for a heart-stopping moment Sooyoung is scared that her friend will be angry.

Jungeun just laughs, throws a snowball back. She has terrible aim- it hits Sooyoung right in the mouth. She gasps, rushes over- _I'm sorry, I didn't mean to, are you okay- _and in a frozen moment where their faces brush, snow on Jungeun's dark eyelashes and the remnants of laughter in the curve of her eyes, Sooyoung realizes something.

She kisses Jungeun. She's not sure whose lips are colder.

-

Sooyoung treks through the forest and she wonders. She wonders how Jungeun killed him. Was it the blade? Was it the way Sooyoung taught her, of squeezing at his heart and his lungs until he coughed up blood? Was it poison?

Was it just pure, pure anger?

She wouldn't put it past Jungeun. She's furious, too.

Always has been.

Sooyoung looks down and spots a feather in the snow. She lifts it to the light. It looks like an owl's.

Ahead of her is a trail of rusty red pinpricks. Blood? More feathers? Both?

Maybe it's just deja vu.

-

Sooyoung is coming back from a supply trip when she sees a drop of red in the snow. That on its own wouldn't worry her, but soon she finds another.

And another.

She rushes back to camp, supplies forgotten, and she sees Jungeun. Panting. Standing, triumphant, before the body of a man in the snow. A halo of blood surrounds his head.

(_Who was he_? Sooyoung asks.

Jungeun's irises look invisible, but maybe that's just because Sooyoung is looking for the darkness. _He was bothering me. __Does it really matter?_)

-

The feathers mean nothing.

It's just the body of a barn owl, almost sunk beneath the snow.

It's just that Sooyoung is paranoid.

It's just that Sooyoung is scared, terrified even, that the next time she looks at a dead body she won't feel anything other than cold.

-

_Are you scared of me?_ Jungeun asks. 

_Maybe_, Sooyoung thinks. She says: _No. I just don't like seeing murder. Ever since-_

There's so much unspoken hanging between them.

Jungeun just smiles. _Don't be afraid, _she tells Sooyoung. _Everything dies in the end._

Sooyoung knows Jungeun was talking about people, but she can't help but wonder when their relationship will perish just like that man.

-

Over the years, Sooyoung has become the Healer. It's the label she goes by when people ask- it's what she does to stay afloat. But she still remembers the feeling of holding someone's life in her mind, of knowing she could slow someone's heart without a thought.

Maybe she was too busy thinking about that in this town. Maybe that's why she forgot to put away her identifying clothing. Maybe that's why, after stopping for a drink and a bed, she finds herself cornered at midnight by someone who's probably far too drunk.

_We don't want your magic, _they say, reaching for a knife. _We don't want danger._

Sooyoung dodges, and instinct takes over. They convulse, cough- this time there's real blood on the snow. This time deja vu doesn't take over.

_Yeah_, she says quietly. _Neither do I._

This time she isn't afraid.

-

It was a pretty amicable breakup, all things considered. Sooyoung had nightmares about blood, about him- Jungeun did not. Sooyoung wanted to help people- Jungeun did not.

They stay friends for a while afterwards, sometimes friends who kiss. Eventually, they part ways, but if they meet in a town by accident, there's no harm in renting a hotel room for the night. Sooyoung wanders and Jungeun stays in one place, they learn- Sooyoung always makes sure to wander back to her once in a blue moon.

Then the changes start. Jungeun is quiet, eerily so, when Sooyoung asks her what's going on. She turns her head away when Sooyoung talks about Haseul, the merchant she met the other month. She holds onto Sooyoung just a little bit tighter.

Then she begins to let go. Slowly, surely, Jungeun no longer speaks to Sooyoung, favoring touch. She sometimes enters the room in fancy black dresses, sometimes with torn clothes stained with blood that is not hers. She talks about the war, if she speaks at all.

Sooyoung worries.

For the first time, Jungeun leaves first.

-

And maybe everything in Sooyoung's life has led her to this moment, standing here watching snowflakes gently fall. An owl hoots nearby- she hopes it lives longer than the barn owl she found. There's only a small circle of sky visible from her position in the pine grove, facing Kim Jungeun. If there's one thing Sooyoung has learned, it is that she'll always come back to where she started. She will wander, yes; she will try to erase her tracks. But part of her will always be in these moments, the small, fleeting glimpses of something stronger than humanity in herself. Part of her will always be the one beaten down, but part of her will always be the one rising up. Part of her will always be the Healer and part of her will always be the Heartrender.

No matter how far she runs, there will always be something magnetic at her core, something pulling her into a world of her own creation.

"How did you find me?" Jungeun asks softly, almost shocked. "I never thought I'd see you again."

Sooyoung smiles. She's put on red lipstick just for Jungeun. "Haven't you heard? Like calls to like."

**Author's Note:**

> title is mostly original  
this was supposed to be part of a drabble collection but i liked it on its own so here it is! tbh sometimes i just Write and see what comes out


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